Study Claims 30 Minutes Optimal Length for Sex


If you were being burdened by philosophical questions, like how long the ideal sex should last, well, today we have a study (well, sort of) which claims to have find the answer. And the answer is half an hour, or thirty minutes on the clock. Anything above or below thirty minutes is not kosher, halal or whatever.

Okay, I am only kidding, but one may ask how on Earth did these “scientists” determine how long the perfect sex should last? I’d like to see the experiments, the field tests so to speak, the lab “work”, it would make me a believer. Now, getting back to our news story, the study was “performed” (no pun intended) by whom else than Lovehoney , an online sex-toy retailer. What, did you think it was the London Academy of Science? No way, those guys are old and boring.

Lovehoney conducted an online survey among its customers and they’ve found out the metrics behind the ideal amount of time to be dedicated to fornication, or the physical act of love. Even if theoretically speaking the magic number is half an hour, the average Western couple falls short of it by eleven minutes.

So, even if thirty minutes seems to be the ideal time required to hit the G-spot so to speak, the survey revealed that many couples settle for quickies, while 52% of the couples interviewed said they’re happy with their sex life (as per duration). 15% of women and 21% of men told Lovehoney that “it’s over too soon”, while foreplay is long gone 21% of the time, which leads to frustration, anxiety and voting for Democrats.

The typical sex act for the average Joe (or Janine) lasts for 19 minutes, according to the survey, which broken down makes for 10 minutes of foreplay plus 9 minutes of actual workout. The half an hour sex seems to be a pipe dream, doesn’t it? What I find totally hilarious is that it took for a team of sex researchers to determine that men come a lot quicker than women, and women are capable of multiple orgasms during sex, which leads me to believe that sexperts are actually closet virgins looking for a girlfriend while pretending to know everything about…love.

Photo: Alamy