FBI Probes as Republican’s Mail Contains ‘white powdery substance’

karen handel

Following the attempted mass murder of “as many Republicans as possible” on Wednesday from a rabid anti-Trumper, Bernie Sanders supporter and Rachel Madcow aficionado, today we got word about the FBI getting involved in a case regarding a Republican’s (snail) mail which was reportedly containing a white powdery substance.



Judging from semantics,it’s not clear if our hero ordered some cocaine from the Dark Web or there are Anthrax suspicions, which is basically borderline terrorism. Joke aside, the FBI getting involved in the case makes us believe that they’re taking it very serious. The story goes something like this: the police was called after “suspicious” envelopes containing the aforementioned white powdery substance were found in various mailboxes in Roswell, where Karen Handel lives, on Thursday.


“This afternoon we had some suspicious packages delivered to our house and to our neighbors. The packages contained threatening letters and a suspicious substance. The police were quickly notified and street is now being blocked off. We will continue to coordinate with law enforcement as necessary.” – Karen Handel

According to police reports, the Roxburg Drive off Old Alabama Road in the Country Club of Roswell is currently closed while the police with a little help from the FBI (who is actually leading the investigation) are trying to solve the mystery. At least 5 residences in the neighborhood reported the mysterious envelopes containing an unidentified substance.

In case you were wondering who on Earth is Karen Handel, well, she’s a business woman and a Republican politician, currently running for  Georgia’s 6th Congressional District against Jon Ossoff (obviously a DEM). Everything started on a quiet Thursday afternoon when a woman opened an envelope and she found a mysterious white powdery substance inside. She instantly called 911, yet until now there have been no reports regarding people getting sick or anything like that.

Stay tuned.