Musk Unveils ‘fastest production (fantasy) car ever’: Tesla Roadster

tesla roadster

Well, that didn’t take much. After the Dodge Demon was being marketed as the fastest production car ever to hit dealerships all across the United States, now is Elon Musk’s turn to brag with his future Tesla Roadster.

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This ugly plastic-made hairdryer of a car (yes, I am jealous) was announced on Thursday night by our electrical God and savior Elon Musk as the fastest production car to be ever made. And truth be told, the new Tesla Roadster boasts impressive (theoretical) figures: 0 to 60 miles per hour in 1.9 seconds (yes, you got that right, under 2 seconds), which would make it the first car ever to break the 2 second mark, or at least that’s what Elon Musk claimed during a presser in Los Angeles.

Also, the Tesla Roadster will accelerate from 0 to 100 miles per hour in 4.2 seconds and it will roast the quarter mile in under 9 seconds (8.9). As Musk put it:

This will the first time that any production car has broken 9 seconds in the quarter mile,

The new super-EV will be fed by a 200 kilowatt battery and according to official figures, it boasts an autonomy of 620 miles on a single charge. If that holds water, it’s pretty impressive, to say the least. Thing is, unless there has been a step up in battery energy density, the battery pack alone for this car  is going to weigh more than a metric tonne. (The 85kW battery in the Model S weighs 540Kg)

To quote Elon again:

“The point of doing this is to give a hardcore smackdown to gasoline cars. Driving a gasoline sports car is going to feel like a steam engine with a side of quiche.”

However, don’t be too happy, as the new roadster is expected to hit the roads three years from now, in 2020 if everything goes fine and dandy for Tesla, i.e. if the company doesn’t kick the bucket by then. Also, Musk revealed the base price for the future Roadster: 200,000 smackaroos.

Now, if you ask me, Musk needs to stop worrying about stunts like this with other people’s money and get something with mass appeal into large-scale production.  Thus far, Tesla has shown to be incompetent to pull off mass production.

Musk would be wise to make at least one supercar that can last longer than a couple of laps of full out racing if he’s going make these silly claims.

Sadly, Mr Musk’s company is in deep, deep poo. Pity all those people who have put so much money into it that it’s worth more than Ford, despite selling a fraction of the cars and never having made a profit. Free market capitalism gone completely bonkers. In case you did not know, Tesla is being subsidized via loans and carbon credits, and in addition the customers were benefiting from the tax break.

Also, will there be an outcry about this car, like there is against the Challenger Demon? Should it be deemed unsafe and banned from the streets?

  • Mike E

    Elon Musk is a carpetbagger and opportunist. He lives on the fact that the people that are red-green and the iPhone-people know nothing about science and technology. The electric car is older than the gasoline car. Nothing new there.
    Also, an electric car that accelerates faster than a gasoline car could have been built 50 years ago. Nothing new there either.